Kick Me Now!!
July 16, 2007
Has anyone ever jokingly put a note on your back that said “Please kick me”? For the last three weeks, it seemed I have been wearing this note.
For example:
• One friend told me my email etiquette was deplorable and had hurt someone’s feelings.
• Another told me that I was sending an arrogant message and was injuring a relationship.
• A third friend told me my negotiation skills needed sharpening as I was unknowingly sending a negative message.
Did it hurt to hear these messages? Yes, but only briefly. Sometimes I need to be reminded of the words of the proverb, “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.”
It is my observation the more successful you become and the more power you assume, the less likely you are to be told the truth. Sad to say, but the majority of leaders I know are never corrected by those around them. Can you imagine acting like a fool and not being aware of it? There is an inverse relationship between those who have power and the frequency they are being corrected. I estimate that 95% of powerful leaders have zero accountability in this area. The real problem is that the most influential leaders are the ones who need the most correction. Why? Because if a person of influence says or does something foolish, they influence more people with their stupidity. If a speech is given to thousands, an email is sent to dozens or negative perception is created with a few, the damage can horrendous. Remember, influence works in positive and negative ways.
The best solution I have seen is surround myself with a group of CEOs and leaders who lovingly “kick me” when I do or say something foolish. Unfortunately, this is way too often! In truth, I really value these men who risk kicking me. They correct me because they trust me to respond favorably. I listen to them because I know they have my best interest in mind.
When is the last time you got a kick from someone around the office? If your answer is “not lately” then you can reach one of two conclusions. First, you are perfect human being. Or secondly, you need to be “kicked” but people are afraid to help you.
Ouch!!!
Written by Matthew Myers Matthew@giantpartners.biz
July 17, 2007 at 11:22 am
Mathew,
I think you are spot on about senior executives not being told the truth. A classic are the reports that are constantly edited on their way up the corporate hierarchy.
But I think it is up to these senior executives to seek out the truth. You talk of surrounding yourself with people who will speak up. Many don’t have that opportunity and they need to go to the shop floor to find out what is really happening.
In Toyota they call it “Genchi Genbutsu” or go see and study. Forget the sanitised reports go and see for yourself and stay there a while to observe what is really happening.
cheers,
Rob
July 19, 2007 at 8:22 pm
Rob:
Thank you for the post. You are right. As we gain power and authority, we get less of the truth from those around us. In summary, we are lied to more frequently.
I welcome any more thought you have on this in the future….
August 24, 2007 at 9:52 pm
I couldn’t possibly agree more with this entry, Matthew. I remind myself all the time, and those other leaders around me, that you must believe you are operating on less information from your followers than you really need to do your job well.
If we remember that and believe it, hopefully it will keep us on our toes in such a way that is constantly encouraging honest input from others.
The first time we react negatively to that kind of input, I’m afraid it’s almost impossible to get back that trust. Certainly this won’t happen without a LOT of work and time. The person already went out on a limb to give us the feedback in the first place and it is unlikely they’ll be willing to do it again if it resulted in a negative experience.
I have a co-worker and friend who will let me know what I need to hear and he has exercised that right in the past. It is NEVER easy to hear but oh how I appreciate it afterwards! -Mike